We are back where we started, on the SICU floor at HCMC in downtown Minneapolis. Joel came here by ambulance yesterday afternoon and had a surgical procedure done by the ENT team at about 11 pm. Dr. H went through his mouth to access the abscess (sounds like a song, "OK, everybody, access the abscess with me!") , remove all infection, irrigate the cavity, and insert a drain tube through Joel's nose to hold the incision open until the air pocket underneath can heal from the bottom up.
Saturday, when Joel felt even worse than Friday, my heart sank. It sank even lower when he spiked a fever that evening, and when the home health nurse recommended an ER trip. At midnight as I lay down, I decided to take Pete's advice and put something edifying in my mind. "EM Bounds on Prayer" caught my eye and I opened to the first chapter - "Prayer and Faith." Tears filled my eyes as I read that we should not fret if the Lord delays His answer, because He has a greater work that needs to happen first. "Jacob had to be changed before Esau could be."
On Sunday morning before Pete took him in, I read the passage to them and we all agreed it was what we needed to hear. The sermon by visiting pastor B also spoke to my heart: "If your situation has changed dramatically for the worse, like the exiles in Babylon - get on with your lives."
I cried when making the announcement in church, and got plenty of hugs afterwards. At 3 Pete informed me that the ambulance left Willmar to head to HCMC. Today we have heard from at least four different teams of doctors, and I am glad to be here where I'm confident they won't let Joel go until this problem is solved. Lord, may we patiently wait for Your greater work to be completed.
Showing posts with label patience. Show all posts
Showing posts with label patience. Show all posts
Monday, November 25, 2013
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Lies We Believe
A recently-divorced friend (call her Peggy, since I have no friends by that name) posted on Facebook, "I read that my kids will remember my attitude more than the things I tried to teach them. It made me cry, because my kids had me during the worst years of my life, when I was a stressed-out, depressed person. That's not who I really am. I'm sorry, kids - I wish it could have been different."
This troubled me, but I had to think about it quite a while before I realized why. The lies Peggy believes are so thick that it's hard to untangle them and evaluate them one at a time.
1. I'm not me some of the time. This friend and her husband dealt with some very difficult circumstances. Unfortunately, Peggy responded with anger, bitterness, blame (in her words, "stress" and "depression") and ultimately, the decision to shed her husband like a snake sheds its old, worn-out skin. Now she feels liberated, as though she is blossoming into her true self. She's happy and carefree, as she remembers feeling in the early years of her marriage. But who was stressed-out and depressed? Peggy. Who regularly lashed out at her husband and kids? Peggy. Who broke up their unhappy home? Peggy. Some other person did not take possession of Peggy's body. She really was, and is, that person.
2. Circumstances control our lives; we are just victims. Those "worst years" could have been the best years, had Peggy responded with patience, trust or love to the trials she faced. Her three daughters could be filled with admiration at what their mother endured and gratitude for an intact, happy home despite their troubles. My own parents had many ups and downs in their 38-year marriage, but at my mother's funeral, I cried with joy that we had walked the cancer journey together as a whole family.
3. Things couldn't have been any different. Things could have been different. When her husband turned out to be a jerk, as all men are occasionally, Peggy could have remembered why she married him in the first place and patiently waited for things to get better. She could have restrained her tongue at home as she does at work. She could have sought counseling with a willingness to change herself instead of a preconceived determination that her husband or the circumstances were at fault. She could have surrounded herself with people who believed, "Murder, maybe; divorce, never." She could have recognized her own complicity in the problems and extended grace to her husband and daughters.
This whole post depressed me because Peggy continues to see herself as a victim and therefore doesn't see any need to change her own attitudes. Does she really believe that now that her husband is out of her home, no trials will ever arise? Or that she will somehow respond with grace and joy to future difficulties, when she has a completely different pattern firmly entrenched in her psyche?
I am no better than Peggy. I have the same negative reactions, the same self-righteous bitterness, the same tendency to blame others and lash out at them. What will my children remember? I pray they will remember that Jesus Christ forgives and renews me and them. I pray they will remember that the Holy Spirit "calls, gathers, enlightens, and sanctifies" us. I pray they will remember my humble moments. And I pray they will remember that two jerks can live together in peace and love through God's power.
This troubled me, but I had to think about it quite a while before I realized why. The lies Peggy believes are so thick that it's hard to untangle them and evaluate them one at a time.
1. I'm not me some of the time. This friend and her husband dealt with some very difficult circumstances. Unfortunately, Peggy responded with anger, bitterness, blame (in her words, "stress" and "depression") and ultimately, the decision to shed her husband like a snake sheds its old, worn-out skin. Now she feels liberated, as though she is blossoming into her true self. She's happy and carefree, as she remembers feeling in the early years of her marriage. But who was stressed-out and depressed? Peggy. Who regularly lashed out at her husband and kids? Peggy. Who broke up their unhappy home? Peggy. Some other person did not take possession of Peggy's body. She really was, and is, that person.
2. Circumstances control our lives; we are just victims. Those "worst years" could have been the best years, had Peggy responded with patience, trust or love to the trials she faced. Her three daughters could be filled with admiration at what their mother endured and gratitude for an intact, happy home despite their troubles. My own parents had many ups and downs in their 38-year marriage, but at my mother's funeral, I cried with joy that we had walked the cancer journey together as a whole family.
3. Things couldn't have been any different. Things could have been different. When her husband turned out to be a jerk, as all men are occasionally, Peggy could have remembered why she married him in the first place and patiently waited for things to get better. She could have restrained her tongue at home as she does at work. She could have sought counseling with a willingness to change herself instead of a preconceived determination that her husband or the circumstances were at fault. She could have surrounded herself with people who believed, "Murder, maybe; divorce, never." She could have recognized her own complicity in the problems and extended grace to her husband and daughters.
This whole post depressed me because Peggy continues to see herself as a victim and therefore doesn't see any need to change her own attitudes. Does she really believe that now that her husband is out of her home, no trials will ever arise? Or that she will somehow respond with grace and joy to future difficulties, when she has a completely different pattern firmly entrenched in her psyche?
I am no better than Peggy. I have the same negative reactions, the same self-righteous bitterness, the same tendency to blame others and lash out at them. What will my children remember? I pray they will remember that Jesus Christ forgives and renews me and them. I pray they will remember that the Holy Spirit "calls, gathers, enlightens, and sanctifies" us. I pray they will remember my humble moments. And I pray they will remember that two jerks can live together in peace and love through God's power.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Keeping the Faith
We are praying for unity with Michelle and Saul regarding whether they are being called by God to pursue a relationship leading to marriage. Pete feels strongly that the whole thing began wrongly and doesn't feel good about it continuing unless there are major signs of repentance. No one wants a wedding with hard feelings, or even uneasy feelings, and no one wants Michelle and Saul to abandon what they feel called to do unless they have faith that God is in the abandoning. Since we went to Puebla in August, we have been praying for unity - and we don't seem to be any closer. I get quite discouraged about the prospects, but then I remember what CS Lewis wrote about the devil's delight in getting us to give in to temptation just before he would have to quit tempting us. If we can keep the faith, I believe we will see the power of the Lord. Jesus said, "Father, may they be one as we are one, that the world may know You sent me." May we receive the gift of faith!
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Successful Surgery
Dr. Lister feels confident that everything was put back the way it should be in Daniel's forearm. He did find bone in the skin, so it was good that they did the surgery on Thursday instead of waiting. Daniel's on an antibiotic now for a couple of weeks. He's been very lethargic since Sunday evening, and I thought it was a side effect of the drug, but now he's getting better and coughing a little, so it was probably a virus that he caught in Sioux Falls. He came with us but didn't participate in the wonderful Compline service that the Stadem clan led at St. John Lutheran (the Stadem grandparents' church).
We were also concerned because he couldn't bend his thumb or feel part of it, but that is improving as well and the orthopedist said it's normal. So altogether a successful post-op appointment and a good report.
I was very impressed with the emergency room people Wednesday night - their calm cheerfulness and patience. And I was even more impressed with the gracious responses of the surgery crew on Thanksgiving Day - you would think they had nowhere else to go, but most of them were on their way to family gatherings after Daniel's surgery. They were kind, cheerful and competent. Although Daniel had the reaction to anesthesia we've come to expect from certain members of our family - it took over eight hours for him to feel well enough to come home - it was altogether a good experience. Hats off to Rice Hospital!
We were also concerned because he couldn't bend his thumb or feel part of it, but that is improving as well and the orthopedist said it's normal. So altogether a successful post-op appointment and a good report.
I was very impressed with the emergency room people Wednesday night - their calm cheerfulness and patience. And I was even more impressed with the gracious responses of the surgery crew on Thanksgiving Day - you would think they had nowhere else to go, but most of them were on their way to family gatherings after Daniel's surgery. They were kind, cheerful and competent. Although Daniel had the reaction to anesthesia we've come to expect from certain members of our family - it took over eight hours for him to feel well enough to come home - it was altogether a good experience. Hats off to Rice Hospital!
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