We are back where we started, on the SICU floor at HCMC in downtown Minneapolis. Joel came here by ambulance yesterday afternoon and had a surgical procedure done by the ENT team at about 11 pm. Dr. H went through his mouth to access the abscess (sounds like a song, "OK, everybody, access the abscess with me!") , remove all infection, irrigate the cavity, and insert a drain tube through Joel's nose to hold the incision open until the air pocket underneath can heal from the bottom up.
Saturday, when Joel felt even worse than Friday, my heart sank. It sank even lower when he spiked a fever that evening, and when the home health nurse recommended an ER trip. At midnight as I lay down, I decided to take Pete's advice and put something edifying in my mind. "EM Bounds on Prayer" caught my eye and I opened to the first chapter - "Prayer and Faith." Tears filled my eyes as I read that we should not fret if the Lord delays His answer, because He has a greater work that needs to happen first. "Jacob had to be changed before Esau could be."
On Sunday morning before Pete took him in, I read the passage to them and we all agreed it was what we needed to hear. The sermon by visiting pastor B also spoke to my heart: "If your situation has changed dramatically for the worse, like the exiles in Babylon - get on with your lives."
I cried when making the announcement in church, and got plenty of hugs afterwards. At 3 Pete informed me that the ambulance left Willmar to head to HCMC. Today we have heard from at least four different teams of doctors, and I am glad to be here where I'm confident they won't let Joel go until this problem is solved. Lord, may we patiently wait for Your greater work to be completed.
Showing posts with label one day at a time. Show all posts
Showing posts with label one day at a time. Show all posts
Monday, November 25, 2013
Saturday, November 16, 2013
One Day at a Time, part 3
Joel didn't come home - again. On Monday, his 21st birthday, the doctors voiced their concern over two low-grade fever and an elevated white blood cell count and ordered two tests, one for an intestinal tract infection and a swallow study. Since the swallow study was delayed until Tuesday afternoon, his discharge didn't happen. The first test was negative - good news! - but the only good news about the swallow study was that it wasn't in vain. It involves swallowing barium, which Joel regurgitates every time. We were all sure that it would show nothing, but unfortunately, it did show some kind of connection between the esophagus and this abscess area. That began a flurry of activity, leading to a CT-scan-guided mini-operation to place a drain tube through Joel's neck into the abscess, in the hope of avoiding further surgery. We stayed another night to support him through the ordeal, which involved him holding his head back for the hour of the procedure, and the MRI Wednesday morning to look for bone infection. Thankfully there was no sign of that, though they will continue to treat Joel with strong antibiotics just in case.
On Tuesday night after the procedure, Pete asked Joel, "Do you feel anxious?"
"Yes," he replied.
"What are you anxious about?" Pete probed. Joel hesitated, unable to articulate exactly what concerned him. So I rushed in, "He's worried about having another surgery. It hurt SO bad, and took SO long to recover and then he was SO weakened and set back by it, and...he can't BEAR another surgery!" I was bawling and Joel was crying and Pete cried too.
My head and neck and shoulders were sore, my stomach was tense, and I had a very slight headache (I never have headaches). This continued all day Wednesday; Pete gave me a massage and I took a bath that evening, which helped. I was fretting and worrying about the possibility of surgery. "Lord, PLEASE no surgery." "Lord, he can't handle another surgery." Etc.
On Thursday morning, the Lord graciously brought to mind the thoughts, "What good does worrying over this chance do? He hasn't had another surgery; he is coping with the nausea and feeling rotten. You have already let your requests be made known to Me - constantly. Can you trust Me to be good?" Pete confirmed the message on Friday when he called from the hospital and reported that Joel was feeling much better. "Let's agree not to worry, OK?" OK.
We are not immune to the temptations of this trial. We continue to face situations that arouse anxiety, and can choose to listen to the demons of doubt or to the Holy Spirit. We appreciate those who pray for us, and trust that we will grow in faith, love and obedience to the will of God.
On Tuesday night after the procedure, Pete asked Joel, "Do you feel anxious?"
"Yes," he replied.
"What are you anxious about?" Pete probed. Joel hesitated, unable to articulate exactly what concerned him. So I rushed in, "He's worried about having another surgery. It hurt SO bad, and took SO long to recover and then he was SO weakened and set back by it, and...he can't BEAR another surgery!" I was bawling and Joel was crying and Pete cried too.
My head and neck and shoulders were sore, my stomach was tense, and I had a very slight headache (I never have headaches). This continued all day Wednesday; Pete gave me a massage and I took a bath that evening, which helped. I was fretting and worrying about the possibility of surgery. "Lord, PLEASE no surgery." "Lord, he can't handle another surgery." Etc.
On Thursday morning, the Lord graciously brought to mind the thoughts, "What good does worrying over this chance do? He hasn't had another surgery; he is coping with the nausea and feeling rotten. You have already let your requests be made known to Me - constantly. Can you trust Me to be good?" Pete confirmed the message on Friday when he called from the hospital and reported that Joel was feeling much better. "Let's agree not to worry, OK?" OK.
We are not immune to the temptations of this trial. We continue to face situations that arouse anxiety, and can choose to listen to the demons of doubt or to the Holy Spirit. We appreciate those who pray for us, and trust that we will grow in faith, love and obedience to the will of God.
Monday, September 23, 2013
One Day at a Time, part 2
Early Friday morning I woke up and thoughts started pouring through my mind about Joel's future. I pictured him in a wheelchair forever, pondered all the things he wouldn't be able to do (work, play guitar, have children) and worried and fretted until I had to get up. I knew these thoughts were of the devil but couldn't seem to banish them or "take them captive to Christ." My insights into living one day at a time seemed long ago and far away. I was in the future, and it was no good!
Sometime during the busy preparation for the wedding weekend, an idea struck me on how to banish those pesky future frettings. I started asking myself, "Do I have what I need to get through today?" My fears about tomorrow may come to pass; then again, they may not. Unless there is something I specifically need to do today to get ready for tomorrow, I should forget about tomorrow (as Jesus recommends). Today has enough troubles of its own. And Friday certainly did, as we packed for the weekend and the wedding, traveled to Plain View Farm, helped prepare, rehearsed with the wedding party, and celebrated at the groom's dinner.
Just as my worrying about the helicopter bill (Musing about Money, September 10) proved baseless, so will most of these concerns. If Joel doesn't recover fully, there will be plenty of time to help him deal with those challenges. So my new goal in living one day at a time is to keep asking myself, "Do I have what I need to get through today?" and get started on today's tasks. Lord, help me remember this goal!!
Just as my worrying about the helicopter bill (Musing about Money, September 10) proved baseless, so will most of these concerns. If Joel doesn't recover fully, there will be plenty of time to help him deal with those challenges. So my new goal in living one day at a time is to keep asking myself, "Do I have what I need to get through today?" and get started on today's tasks. Lord, help me remember this goal!!
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Self-Care
Quite a few people, including several doctors and nurses here in the SICU, have kindly reminded me to take care of myself. I feel good, and I think it's because sisters Julie and Mary and families are caring for me, and I am caring for myself.
1. Julie and Mary have kept me supplied with good healthy whole-grain food. From pasta soup to chicken salad to spinach soup, I have been able to nourish my body.
2. I have left the hospital to sleep each night, usually at the Jones'. I certainly couldn't sleep on the narrow bench in Joel's room, and I have felt perfectly confident in the care of the night nurses. Plus they have my phone number. Staying with the Jones has been especially valuable because they are exceptionally good processors - good listeners, but also with helpful Kingdom-based comments that have kept my eyes on the Lord.
3. I have taken walks of about 2 miles each day. The beautiful glass skyscrapers and old buildings in downtown Minneapolis are a feast for the eyes. I wouldn't have guessed how much I enjoy watching people and looking at the architecture while feeling safe and getting good exercise. I've also signed up at the local YMCA to continue lifting weights.
4. Sister Julie and college roommate Shelley each sat with me for one day. Their godly perspective and enduring love for me make them "comfort food" for my soul.
5. I have eaten out three times, and the hospital cafeteria had grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup! Felt like home! I lunched at a sidewalk cafe called La Belle Crepe - delicious, unusual and the perfect temperature to sit and people-watch. Shelley took me to The Melting Pot, a fondue restaurant - again unusual, extremely tasty and scintillating conversation!
6. I brought a few things that have greatly added to my comfort - my slippers, my mug, my tea, enough layers (this room is COLD most of the time!) and the laptop.
7. Pete is an extremely competent parent and household manager (he likes it clean!), so I am not worried about the home front.
I believe self-care is important at a time like this, and I think I'm doing great - yay for me! And thanks so much to those who are making it possible.
1. Julie and Mary have kept me supplied with good healthy whole-grain food. From pasta soup to chicken salad to spinach soup, I have been able to nourish my body.
2. I have left the hospital to sleep each night, usually at the Jones'. I certainly couldn't sleep on the narrow bench in Joel's room, and I have felt perfectly confident in the care of the night nurses. Plus they have my phone number. Staying with the Jones has been especially valuable because they are exceptionally good processors - good listeners, but also with helpful Kingdom-based comments that have kept my eyes on the Lord.
3. I have taken walks of about 2 miles each day. The beautiful glass skyscrapers and old buildings in downtown Minneapolis are a feast for the eyes. I wouldn't have guessed how much I enjoy watching people and looking at the architecture while feeling safe and getting good exercise. I've also signed up at the local YMCA to continue lifting weights.
4. Sister Julie and college roommate Shelley each sat with me for one day. Their godly perspective and enduring love for me make them "comfort food" for my soul.
5. I have eaten out three times, and the hospital cafeteria had grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup! Felt like home! I lunched at a sidewalk cafe called La Belle Crepe - delicious, unusual and the perfect temperature to sit and people-watch. Shelley took me to The Melting Pot, a fondue restaurant - again unusual, extremely tasty and scintillating conversation!
6. I brought a few things that have greatly added to my comfort - my slippers, my mug, my tea, enough layers (this room is COLD most of the time!) and the laptop.
7. Pete is an extremely competent parent and household manager (he likes it clean!), so I am not worried about the home front.
I believe self-care is important at a time like this, and I think I'm doing great - yay for me! And thanks so much to those who are making it possible.
A New Life - One Day at a Time
On June 20 at 11:30 pm, my life changed for the foreseeable future. Cole called to say, "You'd better get out to the pool." Four hours later, he, Daniel and I pulled in to Hennepin County Medical Center and found our way to the Surgical Intensive Care Unit, where Joel lay sedated and immobilized. A dive into the pool (into which he had dived many times before) had fractured his 5th cervical vertebra and badly bruised his spinal cord. Now, ten days later, he is still here, battling pneumonia, has a tracheostomy and feeding tube, is completely aware of his surroundings although sleeping quite a bit, and faces an unknown recovery with an unknown time period. My world has narrowed to this hospital room, thousands of people are praying for all of us, dozens of people are helping, and God is good.
I am NOT a "one day at a time" person. In the words of Jimmy Stewart/George Bailey in "it's a Wonderful Life," "I know what I'm gonna do tomorrow, and the next day, and a month from now, and ten years from now" - or whatever he says. I'm a planner, with lists, calendars and "To Do"s everywhere. Now the answer is always, "We don't know." "Everyone is different." "It's too soon to tell." I have quit all my responsibilities except church musician, but they got someone to fill in through July, and I have no idea if I will be able to go back at that point or not.
However, I really am at peace and am learning to enjoy the little things. The joy of reading Facebook comments, cards, texts and messages gives me a boost. Some days I feel needed because Joel requires tilting, some other comfort thing, or getting the nurse. Other days I am the secretary (keeping a log), the information coordinator (listening and trying to remember everything the doctors and nurses say) and the head of the prayer management team (informing people of our needs and encouraging them to keep on praying);. The days fly by, and even if I haven't done much, I AM where I need to be, and that's enough. "One day at a time" - it's taking on meaning for me, and it's good.
I am NOT a "one day at a time" person. In the words of Jimmy Stewart/George Bailey in "it's a Wonderful Life," "I know what I'm gonna do tomorrow, and the next day, and a month from now, and ten years from now" - or whatever he says. I'm a planner, with lists, calendars and "To Do"s everywhere. Now the answer is always, "We don't know." "Everyone is different." "It's too soon to tell." I have quit all my responsibilities except church musician, but they got someone to fill in through July, and I have no idea if I will be able to go back at that point or not.
However, I really am at peace and am learning to enjoy the little things. The joy of reading Facebook comments, cards, texts and messages gives me a boost. Some days I feel needed because Joel requires tilting, some other comfort thing, or getting the nurse. Other days I am the secretary (keeping a log), the information coordinator (listening and trying to remember everything the doctors and nurses say) and the head of the prayer management team (informing people of our needs and encouraging them to keep on praying);. The days fly by, and even if I haven't done much, I AM where I need to be, and that's enough. "One day at a time" - it's taking on meaning for me, and it's good.
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