Quite a few people, including several doctors and nurses here in the SICU, have kindly reminded me to take care of myself. I feel good, and I think it's because sisters Julie and Mary and families are caring for me, and I am caring for myself.
1. Julie and Mary have kept me supplied with good healthy whole-grain food. From pasta soup to chicken salad to spinach soup, I have been able to nourish my body.
2. I have left the hospital to sleep each night, usually at the Jones'. I certainly couldn't sleep on the narrow bench in Joel's room, and I have felt perfectly confident in the care of the night nurses. Plus they have my phone number. Staying with the Jones has been especially valuable because they are exceptionally good processors - good listeners, but also with helpful Kingdom-based comments that have kept my eyes on the Lord.
3. I have taken walks of about 2 miles each day. The beautiful glass skyscrapers and old buildings in downtown Minneapolis are a feast for the eyes. I wouldn't have guessed how much I enjoy watching people and looking at the architecture while feeling safe and getting good exercise. I've also signed up at the local YMCA to continue lifting weights.
4. Sister Julie and college roommate Shelley each sat with me for one day. Their godly perspective and enduring love for me make them "comfort food" for my soul.
5. I have eaten out three times, and the hospital cafeteria had grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup! Felt like home! I lunched at a sidewalk cafe called La Belle Crepe - delicious, unusual and the perfect temperature to sit and people-watch. Shelley took me to The Melting Pot, a fondue restaurant - again unusual, extremely tasty and scintillating conversation!
6. I brought a few things that have greatly added to my comfort - my slippers, my mug, my tea, enough layers (this room is COLD most of the time!) and the laptop.
7. Pete is an extremely competent parent and household manager (he likes it clean!), so I am not worried about the home front.
I believe self-care is important at a time like this, and I think I'm doing great - yay for me! And thanks so much to those who are making it possible.
Saturday, June 29, 2013
A New Life - One Day at a Time
On June 20 at 11:30 pm, my life changed for the foreseeable future. Cole called to say, "You'd better get out to the pool." Four hours later, he, Daniel and I pulled in to Hennepin County Medical Center and found our way to the Surgical Intensive Care Unit, where Joel lay sedated and immobilized. A dive into the pool (into which he had dived many times before) had fractured his 5th cervical vertebra and badly bruised his spinal cord. Now, ten days later, he is still here, battling pneumonia, has a tracheostomy and feeding tube, is completely aware of his surroundings although sleeping quite a bit, and faces an unknown recovery with an unknown time period. My world has narrowed to this hospital room, thousands of people are praying for all of us, dozens of people are helping, and God is good.
I am NOT a "one day at a time" person. In the words of Jimmy Stewart/George Bailey in "it's a Wonderful Life," "I know what I'm gonna do tomorrow, and the next day, and a month from now, and ten years from now" - or whatever he says. I'm a planner, with lists, calendars and "To Do"s everywhere. Now the answer is always, "We don't know." "Everyone is different." "It's too soon to tell." I have quit all my responsibilities except church musician, but they got someone to fill in through July, and I have no idea if I will be able to go back at that point or not.
However, I really am at peace and am learning to enjoy the little things. The joy of reading Facebook comments, cards, texts and messages gives me a boost. Some days I feel needed because Joel requires tilting, some other comfort thing, or getting the nurse. Other days I am the secretary (keeping a log), the information coordinator (listening and trying to remember everything the doctors and nurses say) and the head of the prayer management team (informing people of our needs and encouraging them to keep on praying);. The days fly by, and even if I haven't done much, I AM where I need to be, and that's enough. "One day at a time" - it's taking on meaning for me, and it's good.
I am NOT a "one day at a time" person. In the words of Jimmy Stewart/George Bailey in "it's a Wonderful Life," "I know what I'm gonna do tomorrow, and the next day, and a month from now, and ten years from now" - or whatever he says. I'm a planner, with lists, calendars and "To Do"s everywhere. Now the answer is always, "We don't know." "Everyone is different." "It's too soon to tell." I have quit all my responsibilities except church musician, but they got someone to fill in through July, and I have no idea if I will be able to go back at that point or not.
However, I really am at peace and am learning to enjoy the little things. The joy of reading Facebook comments, cards, texts and messages gives me a boost. Some days I feel needed because Joel requires tilting, some other comfort thing, or getting the nurse. Other days I am the secretary (keeping a log), the information coordinator (listening and trying to remember everything the doctors and nurses say) and the head of the prayer management team (informing people of our needs and encouraging them to keep on praying);. The days fly by, and even if I haven't done much, I AM where I need to be, and that's enough. "One day at a time" - it's taking on meaning for me, and it's good.
Monday, June 17, 2013
The Girls at Plain View Farm
The First Annual Girls' Retreat at Plain View Farm was a smashing success! For Sarah and me, it began with the arrival of the Coats girls (Mary and Rahila) for lunch on Friday. After Pete visited with his sister for an hour or so, the four girls piled into the Coats van and headed for South Dakota. Catching up with each other's lives, Mary and I chatted the whole way while the two teens entertained themselves with a movie on Rahila's portable DVD player.
We strolled through the further-updated Barna Velkommen - impressive! Much of the siding is on; the cupboards (without doors) grace the kitchen walls, and all the windows offer beautiful views of the surrounding countryside.
I had volunteered to serve Friday's supper, so after hugs, unpacking and the tour of the Barn, I rolled out the biscuit dough and scorched their bottoms a little. We feasted on Chicken Divan and biscuits, gabbed for a couple of hours, and turned in. Summer has definitely arrived, and we could feel the heat in the upstairs bedrooms, but slept anyway.
Saturday morning brought eggs and sausage, served by Mary, and a "red-hot mama" talk as the aunties shared their accumulated wisdom about the facts of life with the nieces. The perennial flower beds received attention from most of us, followed by a delicious salad lunch prepared by Judy.
In the afternoon we napped, had facials and nail paintings,
scraped the Spyse Hutte, and yakked some more! After a feast of fried vegetables with couscous and quinoa, and a little more discussion about the upcoming PVF work reunion, the Coats and Crown Farm girls took off for Minnesota, chattering and watching another movie the whole way.
Much as we love our men, we thoroughly relished their absence. I don't think we need fear becoming an auntie-dominated clan, as the Stadems were when I joined the family 27 years ago, since the entire older generation was female except for Dad Leroy. The four Stadem men, plus John B, Bernie I, Todd S and several more, ensure that the male perspective is heard and seen. It was pleasant to just have "girl talk,"
eat only vegetables, and not worry about clothes, hair or makeup. I hope there will be many more!
We strolled through the further-updated Barna Velkommen - impressive! Much of the siding is on; the cupboards (without doors) grace the kitchen walls, and all the windows offer beautiful views of the surrounding countryside.
I had volunteered to serve Friday's supper, so after hugs, unpacking and the tour of the Barn, I rolled out the biscuit dough and scorched their bottoms a little. We feasted on Chicken Divan and biscuits, gabbed for a couple of hours, and turned in. Summer has definitely arrived, and we could feel the heat in the upstairs bedrooms, but slept anyway.
Saturday morning brought eggs and sausage, served by Mary, and a "red-hot mama" talk as the aunties shared their accumulated wisdom about the facts of life with the nieces. The perennial flower beds received attention from most of us, followed by a delicious salad lunch prepared by Judy.
In the afternoon we napped, had facials and nail paintings,
Much as we love our men, we thoroughly relished their absence. I don't think we need fear becoming an auntie-dominated clan, as the Stadems were when I joined the family 27 years ago, since the entire older generation was female except for Dad Leroy. The four Stadem men, plus John B, Bernie I, Todd S and several more, ensure that the male perspective is heard and seen. It was pleasant to just have "girl talk,"
eat only vegetables, and not worry about clothes, hair or makeup. I hope there will be many more!
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
A Strange Sunday
When Andrew and I arrived at the church on Sunday morning, we attempted to discover who would lead the service that morning. The Synod Assembly gathered all the pastors from the area, leaving churches to lay leadership. The bishop recorded a sermon on video, which Jon B planned to show on the screen. I asked him, "Are you the head honcho today?"
"Nope, just the projector man," he replied.
I had tapped Andrew to substitute for Daniel as Assisting Minister, since Daniel was playing softball out of town. Doug J, the lector, indicated he would rather not lead the worship. Very few of Svea's members feel comfortable up front, and even fewer at the last minute! Pete, obviously, is one, but with his gimpy leg the congregation would be pretty distracted if he were the leader. I could do it in between leading the praise team, but the congregation can't see me sitting at the piano. Finally, at 9:25, I informed Andrew that he would read the parts of the pastor as well as the assisting minister. We prayed, I made an announcement to that effect, and he began. He rose to the challenge and everything progressed smoothly - until the sermon.
A glitch in the laptop/projector setup caused the audio of the bishop's sermon to be, well, inaudible. The video worked fine, but since the congregation doesn't have a single lip-reader among us, that didn't do us much good. I thought furiously, picked up my microphone, and announced to the congregation, "I guess you get a sermon by...me!" I proceeded to communicate what I've been learning from Ann Voskamp's book, One Thousand Gifts, and how I've put it into practice. My heart was pounding and my breathing was shallow for the first minute, but as I realized that I might share all this stuff with any of these members at the coffee table, I settled in and finished in a reasonable amount of time (I think).
After Andrew's beautiful rendition of "Let My Lifesong Sing to You," I asked for prayer requests and led the prayers of the church. Andrew gave the benediction and we sang the closing song. Another worship service drew to a close; Andrew and I learned anew that the Lord will empower you to do whatever you need to do.
"Nope, just the projector man," he replied.
I had tapped Andrew to substitute for Daniel as Assisting Minister, since Daniel was playing softball out of town. Doug J, the lector, indicated he would rather not lead the worship. Very few of Svea's members feel comfortable up front, and even fewer at the last minute! Pete, obviously, is one, but with his gimpy leg the congregation would be pretty distracted if he were the leader. I could do it in between leading the praise team, but the congregation can't see me sitting at the piano. Finally, at 9:25, I informed Andrew that he would read the parts of the pastor as well as the assisting minister. We prayed, I made an announcement to that effect, and he began. He rose to the challenge and everything progressed smoothly - until the sermon.
A glitch in the laptop/projector setup caused the audio of the bishop's sermon to be, well, inaudible. The video worked fine, but since the congregation doesn't have a single lip-reader among us, that didn't do us much good. I thought furiously, picked up my microphone, and announced to the congregation, "I guess you get a sermon by...me!" I proceeded to communicate what I've been learning from Ann Voskamp's book, One Thousand Gifts, and how I've put it into practice. My heart was pounding and my breathing was shallow for the first minute, but as I realized that I might share all this stuff with any of these members at the coffee table, I settled in and finished in a reasonable amount of time (I think).
After Andrew's beautiful rendition of "Let My Lifesong Sing to You," I asked for prayer requests and led the prayers of the church. Andrew gave the benediction and we sang the closing song. Another worship service drew to a close; Andrew and I learned anew that the Lord will empower you to do whatever you need to do.
Saturday, June 1, 2013
Pete Writes about his Surgery
I am so so thankful for good medicine and all that goes with that – nurses, doctors, facilities, knowledge – I am so thankful. Several times I have been shaken with the thought of having this accident happen in another place in the world or another time in history. I most certainly would be an invalid.
When I found out I could have a spinal block instead of general anesthesia, I took it in hopes that it would not have the same side effects of my past surgeries, when I could not wake up, had urinary issues, etc., etc. So when I got done with surgery and woke up, I was totally alert and very thankful. But when hours later I still had not gone to the bathroom and I started to feel nauseous and throwing up and the nurse could not get the IV started and the pain blocker started to wear off the knee and the catheter was too big so the nurse had to pull it out and start over and my body itched all over (the anesthesiologist warned me that a side effect of the anesthesia would be itching in the chest. He was wrong about the chest - it itched like crazy in another place which I could not access because of the catheter). . . And they made me stay overnight in the hospital; I was flirting with discouragement.
In a matter of minutes, several things happened. My wife delivered a signed softball from the Svea teams; my children were along for the visit; the nurse gave me anti-nausea medicine and adjusted my knee. It is so ironic and telling and kingdom-revealing that out of the worst of circumstances comes the deepest of praises.
When I found out I could have a spinal block instead of general anesthesia, I took it in hopes that it would not have the same side effects of my past surgeries, when I could not wake up, had urinary issues, etc., etc. So when I got done with surgery and woke up, I was totally alert and very thankful. But when hours later I still had not gone to the bathroom and I started to feel nauseous and throwing up and the nurse could not get the IV started and the pain blocker started to wear off the knee and the catheter was too big so the nurse had to pull it out and start over and my body itched all over (the anesthesiologist warned me that a side effect of the anesthesia would be itching in the chest. He was wrong about the chest - it itched like crazy in another place which I could not access because of the catheter). . . And they made me stay overnight in the hospital; I was flirting with discouragement.
In a matter of minutes, several things happened. My wife delivered a signed softball from the Svea teams; my children were along for the visit; the nurse gave me anti-nausea medicine and adjusted my knee. It is so ironic and telling and kingdom-revealing that out of the worst of circumstances comes the deepest of praises.
Mini-quiz: Which foot belongs to the leg which received the surgery??
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)