It's All About Communication

We had a family reunion over the Fourth of July weekend. Everyone had a wonderful time, but there was some frustration on the part of the property owners because this was an "off" year, which means people were supposed to come to work on the property, preparing for next year's larger reunion. Instead, 50 people visited and ate all weekend, with about half of them working for an hour (maybe two). Most brought at least some food, but quite a few mooched off the rest, and only about ten people helped in the kitchen. People appropriated rooms in the house without asking, and didn't even help with the final cleanup.

As some of the owners and spouses were discussing the frustration (myself among them), we realized that we have allowed this to happen by a lack of communication. We haven't publicized a work schedule or list of projects in advance. We have opened the kitchen, put out all the food, and cleaned up afterwards, instead of just feeding our own families. We haven't even made a policy about the house, let alone communicated it to anyone. And then we wonder why people make us so upset!

I've been studying "Emotionally Healthy Spirituality" by Peter Scazzero with my ladies for the past few months. One of last week's topics was "Expectations." The author wrote, "An expectation has not been established until it is 1) conscious, 2) realistic, 3) spoken and 4) agreed upon." Too often, we are angry because others have not met our expectations, even though the expectation hasn't actually been established since one or more (often all four!) of the criteria have not been met.

I hope our future family reunions will be characterized by positive communication, agreed-upon expectations, and a good balance between work and rest!