Monday, February 25, 2013

Grown-up Kids

On Saturday we drove to Sioux Falls and back to see daughter-in-law Callie in her senior voice recital.  She sang beautifully:  even better than last year, which is saying something.  I helped her mom serve trifles at a reception afterwards, and basked in reflected glory as "David's mom," because David had the same voice teacher.  It struck me that this grown-up kid thing is going to be really fun.  To enjoy their successes in a special way, while no longer having to correct every mistake or fix every failure, will be the best of both worlds.

We have a friend who claims that her mother-in-law caused her divorce.  When Cheryl married Glen, over forty years ago, Glen's mom Eunice was thrilled.  Thereafter, not so much.  When Glen and Cheryl wanted to move to Iowa, Eunice was afraid it might not be best.  When Glen decided against going to seminary, Eunice "just didn't have a peace about it."  From parenting decisions to decorating schemes, Eunice always had an opinion about "God's will," and rarely agreed with the unhappy couple.  Because of Eunice's spiritual confidence, Glen had a hard time setting boundaries or ignoring her advice.  Plus, she was his mother!

Our challenge, then, is to release our married children to their spouses, realizing that this is a new family accountable to God alone in Christ.  We can and will pray for them more urgently than for others, and if they are wise, they'll ask for our prayers and our advice.  We're thankful for our own parents, who have set a good example in this area.  The other key is to remember that the Lord loves them more than we do, and has an entire Body of people He can use to help them grow in Him.  If it is to be, it is NOT necessarily up to me!

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