Bad Days

I'm tense and crabby today.  It might actually be PMS, which I've never had before.  I snapped at the kids for leaving house chores undone or not doing them well, resented Pete for making reasonable demands upon me, napped for over an hour and am just as tired after getting up.  I have a few abdominal cramps, but mostly feel lethargic, unmotivated and irritable - although, of course, I was fine at the church, hosting a bridal shower this morning.  No crabbiness then!  I criticize the kids for acting politely and kindly to others, but rudely to us.  Wonder where they get it?  Not a good day.

We're dealing with an abundance of bad news around us.  A friend's father just found out he has pancreatic cancer; we've never known anyone personally with this disease, but now know two who will, barring a miracle, leave this earth this year.  The other friend with pancreatic cancer had her second CT scan, revealing that her liver tumors have tripled in size and making chemotherapy irrelevant.  Another friend got a DWI and lost his job because the court process disclosed that he is, in fact, an illegal alien.  Of course he got himself into this mess, and certainly it's probably for the best that he get home to his family he hasn't seen for ten years, but we still love him and hate to see him suffer.   A fellow home school mom died of breast cancer a few weeks ago, leaving nine children, including two in high school.  Two couples who belong to our church are probably divorcing - and apparently the two breakups are connected.    I sang at a funeral the other day; the family is so dysfunctional that a day with no blowups was considered a success.

Of course there are some bright spots; one couple who has been having marriage troubles is doing better, another who's been living together is getting married, and a good friend's daughter stopped taking anti-depressants because of her pregnancy and is doing fine.

I suppose we should be grateful that for over fifty years, our lives and those of our friends and relatives have been so relatively smooth.  Many people have trouble and trauma all around them every day of their lives.  But it's hard to take a seemingly sudden change.  Our hearts hurt for many, and especially some who don't seem to know the Lord very well.  I can't imagine trying to deal with crushing blows without the hope of eternity and a day with "no more tears."  I've been convicted of my need to spend more time in prayer, both to plead for our friends and to reset my perspective.  Truly this life is but a vapor, and the trials we face are not worth comparing with the glory we shall see.  Now can I remember that when the chores are left undone?