The Children Grow Up

Today Michelle and Andrew sang a duet in church.  "Lord, I Need You" is a contemporary Christian song based on the old hymn "I Need Thee Every Hour" (I wonder if Michelle and Andrew know that).  Their voices soared in harmony and their sincerity increased the song's impact on all of us.  But the quality of their "performance" astounded me.  "I didn't know they were that good!!" I thought as I listened to the blend, the tone, the pitch, and their musicality.

This sort of thing keeps happening to us as the children grow up.  Whether Michelle chatters away in Spanish on the phone to her friends in Mexico, or David informs us of chemical formulas and properties of elements, or Joel snags a rocketing softball and completes the throw to first base, and Sarah grabs his throw to get the runner out, I can't believe it.  When Daniel (or Sarah!) (or Philip!!) hits a home run, I'm in awe.  When Andrew lifts heavy weights, I gape.  How can these little whippersnappers accomplish feats that I've never dreamed of?

As our children spread their wings, they prove themselves capable of entering new spheres, reaching new people, and achieving success in new fields.  Our family isn't limited to following in Mom's or Dad's footsteps.  This is a good thing.  Apparently the author Hodding Carter Jr. is the source of the quote:  "There are two lasting bequests we can give our children; one is roots, the other wings."  The roots we trust we've given our children are faith in the Lord and in His Word, security and stability in our family, an ability to overlook offenses and to forgive, and numerous good values and morals.  We see their wings spreading now with all sorts of variety and emphases.  Praise be to God for His many gifts!

Grown-up Kids

On Saturday we drove to Sioux Falls and back to see daughter-in-law Callie in her senior voice recital.  She sang beautifully:  even better than last year, which is saying something.  I helped her mom serve trifles at a reception afterwards, and basked in reflected glory as "David's mom," because David had the same voice teacher.  It struck me that this grown-up kid thing is going to be really fun.  To enjoy their successes in a special way, while no longer having to correct every mistake or fix every failure, will be the best of both worlds.

We have a friend who claims that her mother-in-law caused her divorce.  When Cheryl married Glen, over forty years ago, Glen's mom Eunice was thrilled.  Thereafter, not so much.  When Glen and Cheryl wanted to move to Iowa, Eunice was afraid it might not be best.  When Glen decided against going to seminary, Eunice "just didn't have a peace about it."  From parenting decisions to decorating schemes, Eunice always had an opinion about "God's will," and rarely agreed with the unhappy couple.  Because of Eunice's spiritual confidence, Glen had a hard time setting boundaries or ignoring her advice.  Plus, she was his mother!

Our challenge, then, is to release our married children to their spouses, realizing that this is a new family accountable to God alone in Christ.  We can and will pray for them more urgently than for others, and if they are wise, they'll ask for our prayers and our advice.  We're thankful for our own parents, who have set a good example in this area.  The other key is to remember that the Lord loves them more than we do, and has an entire Body of people He can use to help them grow in Him.  If it is to be, it is NOT necessarily up to me!