Culture Clashes

It is certainly an experience to be here in the city.  I love walking around downtown, but today saddened me as I left Target with my drawer organizer.  A man stood on the corner with a poster, shouting at the top of his lungs.  His T-shirt read, "Jesus Hates.  Prov. 6:16-19."  The poster had a list - "Dressing like whores.  Mocking the law of God.  Committing adultery," etc. - there were at least fifteen items.  His voice must have been amplified, but he was still hollering in a tone that sounded like some movie character I can't quite place, "You are all doomed!  God is angry with you!"  etc., nonstop.  I met his glance, sadly shook my head and walked on.  Of course the Lord hates sin; we all do, if we really stop to think about it.  Does any one of us love "haughty eyes" or "lying tongues" or "hands that shed innocent blood"?  But did that man read to the end of the passage he cited, where the Lord hates "a person who stirs up conflict in the community"?  Or read on to Jesus' words, "For God so loved the world..."?  I am so thankful that my Christian culture does not support this kind of activity.

On the other hand, the signs I am reading on T-shirts and even trucks during this Gay Pride Weekend don't resonate with me, either.  "I Support the Freedom to Marry" bewilders me.  To me, marriage is more a duty, an obligation.  It is what creates the safe, secure nest that a baby deserves before parents have sex that could make a baby.  Back in my day, a lot of people "had to get married," meaning they got pregnant and therefore it was their duty to marry, grow up and provide a good home for the child they chose to create.  Now, of course, that seems ludicrous to many Americans.  I wonder if that truck owner would support the freedom to marry if the freedom to divorce wasn't already guaranteed.  A friend of mine has married twice, and divorced twice.  I don't support his freedom to marry.  I wish he would just stay single and do his best for his daughter.

A T-shirt proclaimed, "I am Standing on the Right Side of History."  That reminded me of the last group making that claim - the Communists of Soviet Russia.  "We will bury you," etc.  Communism turned out NOT to be on the right side of history because it envisioned a perfectible human nature that doesn't exist.  I believe the current anti-traditionalist American view of our sexuality is not based on truth, either - and that's why it's been so destructive already, with all the broken homes and transitory relationships.

A culture clash of an entirely different kind occurred on our hospital floor.  As a Somali woman's condition grew steadily worse, the flow of burkha'ed women into the SICU waiting room increased to a flood.  The room is set up with five tables, about 30 chairs and 6 end tables, as well as a sink, microwave, refrigerator and a row of lockers on one wall, where we can store belongings.  I have started to keep much of my stuff in a locker because of the MRSA bug in Joel's room; everything that comes out of the room has to be disinfected, and it's hard to do that with dishes, books, jackets, etc.  Well, several times a day the ladies have to say their prayers - lined up in a row, facing east, and blocking the lockers.  Some of these gals really get into it and stand, kneel, bow onto the floor, pray softly out loud, stand back up again, and generally take quite a while to complete their ritual.  I, of course, did not want to interrupt by putting my things away in the lockers.  It was bad enough, I felt, to creep into the edge of their space by warming my tea in the microwave.

After the third time, I asked the nurses if they knew what times the prayers were at, so I could just avoid the waiting room during those times.  They didn't, so the fourth time, I asked one of the ladies.  She mentioned a few hours - naturally, the times we're most likely to eat.  The nurse mentioned that they had been asked to pray in the Meditation Room instead of in the waiting room; I suspect that they would forget about the prayers until it struck them - "hey, it's prayer time - we need to pray right now," and then would start immediately.  In any case, the SICU patient died about a day later, and the flood of women filled the waiting room.  I'll bet there were fifty or more ladies in a room designed for three to five families of two or three people each.  As Pete and I decided to forego supper in the waiting room and headed for an elevator to go find a restaurant, we heard Charge Nurse Beth, with a security guard at her side, announcing, "Only immediate family can stay.  Everyone else has to leave now."  Beth is the sweetest person on the floor, and it hurt her to have to be so harsh.  But I can only imagine how difficult it would have been for Cole, Daniel and me that first night, had we come into a waiting room overflowing with women instead of an empty one with room to rest.

I appreciate the culture that brings everyone to the hospital in person to support the family of a sick or dying person.   I think it's a great tradition.  However, HCMC is not designed to accommodate that culture, and so exercising that tradition hurts other people.   I don't know if they need to designate another room for certain groups of waiting folks, or limit the number of "waiters" a given patient can have, or what.  But this culture clash is not a "right or wrong" thing; it is what it is, and I hope solutions will be found.