Count Your Blessings

On the Monday after Joel's accident, I realized I'd better start "counting my blessings" to feed gratefulness and faith in my spirit.  As of this morning, I have recorded over 400 separate items for which I am truly grateful.  Reading them helps me remember that "no temptation (or trial) has overtaken you that is not common to man.  God is faithful and He will not let you be tempted beyond your strength, but with the temptation will also provide a way of escape, that you may be able to endure it." (1 Cor. 10:13)  I read somewhere that the new translation of the Lord's Prayer, "Save us from the time of trial" instead of "Lead us not into temptation," points out that the Greek for "temptation" is more along the lines of being tempted to doubt God because of the trials in our lives.  That clarifies the above verse for me; it's not a temptation to sin as in doing bad things, but a temptation to sin as in doubting God's goodness, power or love.  So here are some of the things, specific to our situation, that have helped me to "endure:"

Many entries - Facebook, Caring Bridge, and every phone call, text, letter, card, gift, email, post and visit

#3 & #4 - My job isn't an issue; Svea covered the music

#6 - Sunshine pouring in our hospital room window in the mornings

#10 - Pete's knee is so much better than it was even a week ago

#11 - Philip is 12; the kids are all self-sufficient in many ways

#12 - It's summer; we don't have to worry about snow and ice

#13 - First Responder Matt Erickson's testimony - "the most peaceful call I've ever been on"

#23 - Wonderfully caring and competent staff at HCMC

#32-35 - Sister Julie and husband Dave live close, Dave isn't teaching this summer, and they are very willing to help

#36 - People have stuffed our fridge at home with food

#47 - Great sermon on prayer at First Covenant across the street

#50 - Sisters Mary and Julie have kept me supplied with healthy food

#93 - Fleece blankets from two sets of girls - essential in the cold hospital room

#110 - YMCA in Minneapolis and New Hope allow me to use the facilities with my Willmar Y card

#180-182 - when the van alternator broke down, Pete was able to get it to the repair shop without towing

#234 - Pete was here when Joel got moved to Regency

#242 - Jesus Calling book

#247 - Joel's so patient with poor lip readers

#263 - Daniel (and friends) and Grandma & Grandpa Norling came to be with Joel so I could go home and to Sioux Falls

#300 - Great hospitality from various people in the Cities

#332 - It's summer; I'm not homeschooling

I've also enjoyed eating out at various restaurants, especially downtown.  

When I can focus on what's good, positive and helpful, my attitude remains good, positive and helpful.  Lord, help me continue to do so - Amen!

Little Blessings

Before Joel's accident, I finished Ann Voskamp's book, "One Thousand Gifts."  Good thing, too, because her perspective has been invaluable through these weeks.  I even preached a sermon at church (at the last minute) on this topic - and now I get to live it to the max!  Basically, she contends that in the Scripture, thanksgiving always precedes the miracle, and thanksgiving produces joy.  In the first week at the  hospital, I started a journal of things for which I feel truly grateful.  When I try, I can find myriads of little blessings in the midst of this great calamity.  I'm up to 290 right now. Here are a few that seem universal:

#6 - Sunshine pours in our window in the morning
#21 - Sarah can drive
#39 - Facebook
#49 - Good Earth tea
#81 - Though I am weak, the Lord is strong
#108 - Whole wheat crepes for lunch
#169 - Daniel hugged and encouraged me when I cried
#202 - A good nap
#224 - Seeing smiling little kids
#254 - Walking at the New Hope YMCA while watching Jeopardy
#288 - Pete got the OK today to walk without limping as possible

Just tonight, while Joel slept after the second busy day in a row, I donned tennis shoes and T-shirt to walk for some much-needed exercise.  I decided to explore the other end of the parking lot and to my surprise, discovered the Three Rivers Recreational Area and its mountain bike trail.  The heavily wooded area could have passed for Sibley State Park; the trail provided comfortable walking; various wildflowers bloomed along the edge, and I ended up in Schafer Park with its own tiny swamp and a bridge over a creek.  What a gem!  Quiet, peaceful (except for bikers whizzing by) Nature, right in the middle of the city.  As I headed into the hospital, two rabbits hopped across the lawn to a peony patch.

Thank you, dear Lord, for your many good gifts.  Help me to be truly thankful "in all circumstances," and to trust You in everything.  Amen.

Pete Writes about his Surgery

I am so so thankful for good medicine and all that goes with that – nurses, doctors, facilities, knowledge – I am so thankful. Several times I have been shaken with the thought of having this accident happen in another place in the world or another time in history. I most certainly would be an invalid.

When I found out I could have a spinal block instead of general anesthesia, I took it in hopes that it would not have the same side effects of my past surgeries, when I could not wake up, had urinary issues, etc., etc. So when I got done with surgery and woke up, I was totally alert and very thankful. But when hours later I still had not gone to the bathroom and I started to feel nauseous and throwing up and the nurse could not get  the IV started and the pain blocker started to wear off the knee and the catheter was too big so the nurse had to pull it out and start over and my body itched all over (the anesthesiologist warned me that a side effect of the anesthesia would be itching in the chest. He was wrong about the chest - it itched like crazy in another place which I could not access because of the catheter).  .  .  And they made me stay overnight in the hospital; I was flirting with discouragement.

In a matter of minutes, several things happened. My wife delivered a signed softball from the Svea teams; my children were along for the visit; the nurse gave me anti-nausea medicine and adjusted my knee.  It is so ironic and telling and kingdom-revealing that out of the worst of circumstances comes the deepest of praises.

Mini-quiz:  Which foot belongs to the leg which received the surgery??

Lies We Believe

A recently-divorced friend (call her Peggy, since I have no friends by that name) posted on Facebook, "I read that my kids will remember my attitude more than the things I tried to teach them.  It made me cry, because my kids had me during the worst years of my life, when I was a stressed-out, depressed person.  That's not who I really am.  I'm sorry, kids - I wish it could have been different."

This troubled me, but I had to think about it quite a while before I realized why.  The lies Peggy believes are so thick that it's hard to untangle them and evaluate them one at a time.

1.  I'm not me some of the time.  This friend and her husband dealt with some very difficult circumstances.  Unfortunately, Peggy responded with anger, bitterness, blame (in her words, "stress" and "depression") and ultimately, the decision to shed her husband like a snake sheds its old, worn-out skin.  Now she feels liberated, as though she is blossoming into her true self.  She's happy and carefree, as she remembers feeling in the early years of her marriage.  But who was stressed-out and depressed?  Peggy.  Who regularly lashed out at her husband and kids?  Peggy.  Who broke up their unhappy home?  Peggy.  Some other person did not take possession of Peggy's body.  She really was, and is, that person.

2.  Circumstances control our lives; we are just victims.  Those "worst years" could have been the best years, had Peggy responded with patience, trust or love to the trials she faced.  Her three daughters could be filled with admiration at what their mother endured and gratitude for an intact, happy home despite their troubles.  My own parents had many ups and downs in their 38-year marriage, but at my mother's funeral, I cried with joy that we had walked the cancer journey together as a whole family.

3.  Things couldn't have been any different.  Things could have been different.  When her husband turned out to be a jerk, as all men are occasionally, Peggy could have remembered why she married him in the first place and patiently waited for things to get better.  She could have restrained her tongue at home as she does at work.  She could have sought counseling with a willingness to change herself instead of a preconceived determination that her husband or the circumstances were at fault.  She could have surrounded herself with people who believed, "Murder, maybe; divorce, never."  She could have recognized her own complicity in the problems and extended grace to her husband and daughters.

This whole post depressed me because Peggy continues to see herself as a victim and therefore doesn't see any need to change her own attitudes.  Does she really believe that now that her husband is out of her home, no trials will ever arise?  Or that she will somehow respond with grace and joy to future difficulties, when she has a completely different pattern firmly entrenched in her psyche?

I am no better than Peggy.  I have the same negative reactions, the same self-righteous bitterness, the same tendency to blame others and lash out at them.  What will my children remember?  I pray they will remember that Jesus Christ forgives and renews me and them.  I pray they will remember that the Holy Spirit "calls, gathers, enlightens, and sanctifies" us.  I pray they will remember my humble moments.  And I pray they will remember that two jerks can live together in peace and love through God's power.

Thanksgiving Thanks

Things about the Thanksgiving weekend that I'm thankful for:

1.  About 15 Sunday School kids showed up for the Thanksgiving Eve service.
2.  We had as many choir members as Sunday School kids.
3.  The kids were fairly focused during our rehearsal.
4.  The choir was so patient while singing "All You Works of God" 8 or 10 times so the kids could master their parts.
5.  The church service was well attended with the families of the kids.
6.  The accompaniment CD worked well and the sound balance was good.
7.  The Coats family arrived in time to join in on the singing.
8.  Communion at the service.
9.  Delicious pies afterwards.
10.  The visiting dogs settled down OK.
11.  David and Callie were here for three whole (and parts of two more) days.
12.  We made it through the cold windy part of the Turkey Leg 5K.
13.  We enjoyed the last part and Mary and I had a great conversation.
14.  Pete finally won his age category in a race this year.
15.  We won the Largest Family Group award, with 12 members running or walking, compared to 7 in the next largest group.
16.  The award was gourmet snack boxes.
17.  Mary's sweet potato dish and broccoli slaw.
18.  Jody Brown's pies.
19.  Seeing the Browns and the Coats, especially Cara and Elisabeth home from college.
20.  Traditional Thanksgiving food.
21.  Make-ahead cream cheese mashed potatoes.  Yummmmm!
22.  Cousin love.
23.  Family sharing time in the evening.
24.  Rahila shared about her school fund-raising for Heifer International and collected $63 on the spot.
25.  Browns brought me a poinsettia.
26.  We adults had a really excellent discussion about life, not always agreeing, but agreeing on the main things.
27.  Hugs.
28.  We got a 40" TV with an amazing HD picture and watched "Brave."
29.  Delicious Applebee's food and stimulating conversation with David and Callie.
30.  Even if I didn't have all these other things to be thankful for, I would still be thankful for Jesus Christ and His love for me.  He will never leave me or forsake me, and if everything else passes away, He will remain.

Thanks Lord!  Amen.

Gratitude, Guilt and Giving

Yesterday I had the worst toothache I've ever had. In the night I couldn't sleep because the whole right side of my head hurt - I thought maybe it was my ear because after I took an Advil and massaged the whole side of my head around my ear I was finally able to sleep. In the morning, I had two excruciating episodes of sharp pain in my mouth, and called the dentist. At noon he was able to fit me in - "get here as soon as you can."

On the way in, I was struck by the thought of people in Japan who have abscesses (that's what I thought it was) or other terrible troubles, and they can't go to the dentist because the dentists have no electricity. Then I thought of all the people in many countries where there are no dentists, or very few and only for the very rich. And the people in this country who don't have insurance or cash, or live in a region with few dentists.

The comfortable lives we lead are, to an unimaginable extent, given to us. Why can I go to the dentist and get rid of tooth pain? Because I was born 1) an American, 2) in a region where the economy is stable, 3) into a family of means, both financial and "mindset." When something goes wrong, we believe we can fix it and we try.

When I wasn't pondering these deep philosophical truths, I was asking the Lord to make it the least serious problem possible. The dentist couldn't get my tooth to produce the same kind of pain I had had before, so he sent me home to wait and see. It could be it was just strain or stress on the tooth and it will improve by itself.

I don't believe that feeling guilty about our good fortune is productive, but I did determine that if it turns out not to be an abscess, and I don't have to have a root canal (thank you, Lord!!!), we're going to give the money we save to someone who needs dental care and otherwise can't get it. Pete agreed. While we can easily share our financial means, how can we share our "mindset means"? The mindset that says, "When something goes wrong, we can fix it. Let's try!" That's the challenge before the Church!