Frustration at Wal-Mart

I haven't been so frustrated in quite a while.

On Thursday, Pete took the kids to town for a flute lesson, errands and the YMCA. Joel & Daniel were already in town after classes, and Pete sent Daniel home to get me; we were to meet at Wal-Mart to look at cordless phones and then go out to eat before the Concert Series at 7:30. As I was talking to him on the phone lining all this up, the thought came to my mind, "Better bring your cell phone." A mental picture flashed through my mind of unplugging the phone from its charger and putting it into the pocket of my purse. LISTEN TO THAT STILL SMALL VOICE! I got distracted, as usual, and didn't bring the phone. Big mistake.

At about 5:15, when Pete & I agreed to meet at Wal-Mart, he thought Daniel was already at the house and we were going to leave pronto. Instead, Daniel hadn't even left town yet. He and I left the house at 5:35, stopped to pick up Joel, and then I got out at Cub and walked to Wal-Mart because Joel & Daniel had to get to their class by 6:00. So I didn't get to Wal-Mart until probably about 6. By that time Pete had given up and thought I must have gone somewhere else with the boys; he tried our phones but got no answer, so went to the YMCA.

When I reached the phone section, I figured Pete wouldn't have stood around waiting all this time but was looking at something else and would return shortly, so I waited. And waited. And waited. "Maybe he went out to the van," which I thought I had seen in the far corner of the parking lot as I walked in. Outside the store, I couldn't see any large brown van, so I went back to the phone section and waited some more. At 6:25, I finally asked the cashier if I could use the phone and called. Pete was on the treadmill, so it took another 20-25 minutes before he rounded up the kids and got to Wal-Mart to pick me up.

As I waited in the WM entryway, I was almost in tears from frustration. Then it occurred to me, "Why am I so upset?" The thoughts going through my mind were, "I HATE wasting time!" "How could he think I'd go somewhere else without calling?" "If ONLY I had brought the phone!"

In reflecting on all of this, I'm struck by what it reveals about my fears. I'm so afraid of failure - in this case, I failed to heed the still small voice, I failed to think ahead, and I failed to communicate with Pete. And I hate it when my expectations are not met. Why is that? Where am I guaranteed a life where everything I think will happen, happens? Pride is such an insidious enemy. "Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through our Lord Jesus Christ!"