Tuesday, March 29, 2011

More on Mindsets


Tuesday night Pete was on his way to bed when he noticed a light had been left on in the basement. Muttering to himself, he went down the stairs - and saw a flood pouring out of the furnace room into the carpeted area! It had just started, so he raced up, gathered the big boys and started supervising a massive effort to stop the leak, get the sump pump working again, and mop up the water. After multiple towels were soaked and the boys had put the wet-dry vac to good use, they finally got to bed around midnight.

Today they are disinfecting the carpet pad with a very strong product and cleaning the carpet with the Rug Doctor, and hope that will be the end of it. We've had fans and heaters running constantly.

What struck me, though, was Pete's determination to save the carpet and belief that he could. Many people would have thrown up their hands and resigned themselves to a new carpet - or if they couldn't afford it, a linoleum floor once again. Not he! And he will succeed.

Pete experienced major back trouble 10 years ago; he lay in bed for 2 weeks and then had spasms when he sneezed or moved wrong. When he finally recovered sufficiently to work, he searched for exercises he could do to strengthen his back. He just knew there was something that would work for him, and he visited a doctor, a physical therapist, a chiropractor and I don't know who else - but sure enough, from one or a combination of these professionals, a weight-lifting program emerged that Pete followed rigorously until his back became strong. Now he can jump off a truck or lift cases - or sneeze - without problems, and continues to lift weights on a maintenance program. How many folks would have given up and resigned themselves to a bad back for life?

I remember a friend who lived in Bangladesh telling how some people there don't look before they cross the busy highway. They have such a fatalistic mindset that they figure it doesn't matter what they do; God's will determines whether they live or die today. Could that be one reason Bangladesh is consistently one of the poorest countries in the world?

I wish I knew how to change people's mindsets, because I'm convinced that if more people had a "can do" attitude, there would be a lot fewer long-term problems in this world. Thanks be to God that He can change our minds!

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Gratitude, Guilt and Giving

Yesterday I had the worst toothache I've ever had. In the night I couldn't sleep because the whole right side of my head hurt - I thought maybe it was my ear because after I took an Advil and massaged the whole side of my head around my ear I was finally able to sleep. In the morning, I had two excruciating episodes of sharp pain in my mouth, and called the dentist. At noon he was able to fit me in - "get here as soon as you can."

On the way in, I was struck by the thought of people in Japan who have abscesses (that's what I thought it was) or other terrible troubles, and they can't go to the dentist because the dentists have no electricity. Then I thought of all the people in many countries where there are no dentists, or very few and only for the very rich. And the people in this country who don't have insurance or cash, or live in a region with few dentists.

The comfortable lives we lead are, to an unimaginable extent, given to us. Why can I go to the dentist and get rid of tooth pain? Because I was born 1) an American, 2) in a region where the economy is stable, 3) into a family of means, both financial and "mindset." When something goes wrong, we believe we can fix it and we try.

When I wasn't pondering these deep philosophical truths, I was asking the Lord to make it the least serious problem possible. The dentist couldn't get my tooth to produce the same kind of pain I had had before, so he sent me home to wait and see. It could be it was just strain or stress on the tooth and it will improve by itself.

I don't believe that feeling guilty about our good fortune is productive, but I did determine that if it turns out not to be an abscess, and I don't have to have a root canal (thank you, Lord!!!), we're going to give the money we save to someone who needs dental care and otherwise can't get it. Pete agreed. While we can easily share our financial means, how can we share our "mindset means"? The mindset that says, "When something goes wrong, we can fix it. Let's try!" That's the challenge before the Church!

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

David's Voice Recital Weekend

What a fun time in Sioux Falls this weekend! Our schedule:

Friday - depart at 3:45pm (Pete, Kari, Sarah, Andrew & Philip), hoping to avoid the slippery, snow-packed, low visibility roads that Pete had been driving in (moving turkeys) all morning. We sure did - it was sunny and the roads were perfectly clear all the way down.

Mom & Dad Stadem fed us delicious lasagna, the Tom's came over and the kids played computer and cards, the adults played a card game called 3-13 that we'd learned from Bev Young in Hawaii.

Saturday - We met the Tom's at HyVee, where Dad bought us all breakfast - very good. We visited until almost noon, then the kids went with the Tom's and the parents went to a funeral. We went to Augustana and met Michelle & David. We had lunch with them in the cafeteria and talked about the future - primarily Michelle's - until 4, strolled down to the Huddle and discussed it all until 6, then over to the HyVee Deli and ate Chinese and chicken until 8! We didn't really get anything resolved, but agreed to pray for unity in Christ regarding the decisions Michelle has to make. David has applied to Riverside Bible Camp, Campus Crusade's Summer Project, and summer research at Augustana. He'll wait to hear back from all 3 before making a decision.

When we had had enough, Pete & Kari picked up Philip & Beka at Tom's and brought them to Steve's, who had just arrived home from Lanesboro. The 3 youngest cousins had a sleepover there, and we went back to the parents'.

Sunday - At Gloria Dei Lutheran Church we were blessed by the praise team (Steve played guitar), the sermon and a middle school liturgical dance group. Kari cries during songs whenever she doesn't lead worship. What's up with that? Pastor Tim Selbow's main point: the devil may win certain battles but he's already lost the war. Pete & Tim have a friend in common - Jim Luebe, our colleague from Tentmakers, played baseball with Tim at Luther College.

Dad S treated us and the Steve's to pancakes and eggs at the VFW. Full of good food, we meandered over to Kresge Hall at Augustana for David's sophomore recital. He, Callie Berg and Ali Hoffman sang art music in English, Italian, German and French beautifully. We especially enjoyed an English song about "all the girls I swore to love forever" that really showed off David's range, tone, breath, and control.

Steve & Tanya hosted us all - Browns, Steve's, Tom's, the parents, and our family - for HyVee chicken, potato salad, lefse, chips and salad. It felt like we ate the whole weekend long! After visiting for a couple of hours, we had an uneventful drive home and prepared to re-enter the daily routine after losing an hour to Daylight Savings Time.

Thanks, Lord, for a wonderful family, great weather and beautiful music!

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Frustration at Wal-Mart

I haven't been so frustrated in quite a while.

On Thursday, Pete took the kids to town for a flute lesson, errands and the YMCA. Joel & Daniel were already in town after classes, and Pete sent Daniel home to get me; we were to meet at Wal-Mart to look at cordless phones and then go out to eat before the Concert Series at 7:30. As I was talking to him on the phone lining all this up, the thought came to my mind, "Better bring your cell phone." A mental picture flashed through my mind of unplugging the phone from its charger and putting it into the pocket of my purse. LISTEN TO THAT STILL SMALL VOICE! I got distracted, as usual, and didn't bring the phone. Big mistake.

At about 5:15, when Pete & I agreed to meet at Wal-Mart, he thought Daniel was already at the house and we were going to leave pronto. Instead, Daniel hadn't even left town yet. He and I left the house at 5:35, stopped to pick up Joel, and then I got out at Cub and walked to Wal-Mart because Joel & Daniel had to get to their class by 6:00. So I didn't get to Wal-Mart until probably about 6. By that time Pete had given up and thought I must have gone somewhere else with the boys; he tried our phones but got no answer, so went to the YMCA.

When I reached the phone section, I figured Pete wouldn't have stood around waiting all this time but was looking at something else and would return shortly, so I waited. And waited. And waited. "Maybe he went out to the van," which I thought I had seen in the far corner of the parking lot as I walked in. Outside the store, I couldn't see any large brown van, so I went back to the phone section and waited some more. At 6:25, I finally asked the cashier if I could use the phone and called. Pete was on the treadmill, so it took another 20-25 minutes before he rounded up the kids and got to Wal-Mart to pick me up.

As I waited in the WM entryway, I was almost in tears from frustration. Then it occurred to me, "Why am I so upset?" The thoughts going through my mind were, "I HATE wasting time!" "How could he think I'd go somewhere else without calling?" "If ONLY I had brought the phone!"

In reflecting on all of this, I'm struck by what it reveals about my fears. I'm so afraid of failure - in this case, I failed to heed the still small voice, I failed to think ahead, and I failed to communicate with Pete. And I hate it when my expectations are not met. Why is that? Where am I guaranteed a life where everything I think will happen, happens? Pride is such an insidious enemy. "Who will deliver me from this body of death? Thanks be to God through our Lord Jesus Christ!"